The Reason Why
by Saxophones
Summary: The boys haven't always been the most normal... But there is a lot beneath the surface. No slash! T for mentions of abuse.


**I took a very long hiatus from writing after a computer virus wiped everything I'd ever written off of my computer. But I'm back, and everything should be updated soon. Sorry for starting a new multichapter when I have so many unfinished, but I had to. Don't expect daily updates, because I'm a Pre-IB student in marching band, but I should be updating every few days at least. **

**If you like it, or have a critique, please review. That will encourage me to keep writing and hopefully update sooner. **

**This is a collection of oneshots, but they're all about the boy's backgrounds. Expect three, maybe four chapters. James is next. Logan and Carlos might get combined. If you have an opinion, let me know.**

He had always been jumpy. Always. You walked up behind him, and all that it took to send him flying into the air was a word, or, if you were being especially annoying, a loud "BOO!"

It had always been something funny, something laughed at. Like "Hey, you want a laugh? Let's all walk up behind him and say boo. It'll be funny."

And honestly, it was, even to him. But he knew why. That same solitary reason explained so many things about Kendall. The leadership, the protectiveness. The need to be a big brother to everyone. The temper.

And one November day, they all knew.

It started out as a normal rainy day in LA. Mrs. Knight was taking Katie to an audition, Kendall and Logan were at the local community college taking a dual enrollment class, and Carlos and James were messing around in the apartment.

Before Kendall and Logan had left, they had gone through Mrs. Knight's list of rules that she insisted on them following whenever she left. They had promised to not play hockey inside, not to go in Katie's room, not to touch Logan's homework, not to obtain paint in any way, or reenact the annual day of pranks, among other things.

This left a very bored Carlos and James lying on the apartment floor, Carlos searching for something to do while James countered almost every plan.

"Frisbee?"

"It's raining?"

"TV?"

"Rule #435."

"That still applies?"

"Sadly, yes."

"Tag?"

James searched through the very well thought out list. "As long as we don't run, turn corners quickly, go near walls, furniture, breakable objects or people, or go up the stairs while talking we should be fine."

Carlos reached over tauntingly. "You're it!" He scrambled into the next room before James could retaliate. James followed quickly, diving into the bedroom he and Carlos shared. He grabbed a lightsaber from the wall and began to swing it around.

"You can't get me!" Carlos cried as he ran out of the room, just barely clipping the door with his helmet.

Everyone froze as a small piece of black plastic fell to the ground.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Carlos cried. James ran to console him, all rivalry forgotten.

"I think I know where Mrs. Knight keeps her superglue!" James exclaimed, ignoring the thirteen rules relating to Mrs. Knight's room, superglue, and any combination of the two.

The two rushed into Mrs. Knight's room, where James quickly found a tube of superglue sitting on top of something that looked like a baby album. As Carlos fixed his helmet, James snooped.

"I think I found Kendall and Katie's baby scrapbook!" he exclaimed. The conclusion didn't take much work, as _Kendall and Katie _was stenciled on the top in blue and pink letters, accompanied by such innocent things as pictures of baby animals and pacifiers.

Carlos, the now drying helmet cradled in his arms, ran over to look.

James got a devilish look on his face. "Shall we snoop?"

Carlos sat down, and James followed him.

The beginning of the book was filled with innocent pictures and dates, with captions like "On the way home from the hospital" and "Kendall's first steps."

Pages appeared to be ripped out now. James shot a look at Carlos, but they continued to read.

Then a new name arrived, filling some of the same captions, though some were new. "Kendall meeting Katie" and "Katie taking Kendall's food" for example.

Then James turned the page, and suddenly he and Carlos started to think that maybe this field trip hadn't been such a good idea after all. There was a family picture on the page, a picture showing a smiling, younger Mrs. Knight and a man who looked like a thirty year old Kendall holding an five or six year old Kendall and a six or seven year old girl who James first assumed was Katie, then realized couldn't be. He looked on in shock. Mrs. Knight was obviously pregnant, and the family looked happy.

James stopped reading and turned to Carlos. "This has to be right before we met him."

Carlos nodded. He recognized the pudding bowl haircut and missing front teeth.

Despite their apprehension, they continued reading. A few pages later, they stopped, and Carlos leaned on James's shoulder. James glanced down, but was interrupted by the slamming of a door. He shut the book, trying to quickly put it back, but dropping it in his attempt.

"Hey guys."

They jumped at the sound of Logan's voice. "What are you doing here?" James demanded accusingly.

Logan looked startled at James's tone. "Class got out early…. Kendall dropped me off on his way to the hockey rink. Why?"

"We found this." James said. "Kendall and Katie's baby album… except it looks like there was supposed to be another baby in the album." He showed Logan the contents of the page.

"A memorial service page?" Logan asked, shocked.

He continued reading.

_Kristina Carmen Knight_

_b. October 15, 1991_

_d. November 11, 1998_

A picture of a baby with a pink bow in her hair was glued beside the program. On the adjacent page was a picture of a small Kendall hugging the girl from the earlier picture.

Logan quietly turned to James and Carlos. "Did you guys know?"

"No." They answered quietly, simultaneously.

"I was hoping it would stay that way."

They jumped at Kendall's voice.

"I'm not mad guys, don't worry. The rink was closed, and my mom and Katie are stuck in Sacramento because of the rain." He glanced down at the scrapbook page and sighed.

Logan looked at him, silently willing him to continue speaking.

"As you guys just found out, yes, I have a sister."

They sat in silence for a moment before James spoke. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because when Kristy died, a lot of other stuff happened. My family shattered."

James and Logan both muttered "I'm sorry," not expecting him to continue.

But he did. "I guess you guys deserve to know. It's all interconnected.

Before I met you guys, a year after she died, Kristy was my best friend. She sang and danced, was good in school, and was a piano prodigy. Everyone expected her to get picked up by some big talent agency one day, to be a success, to make our parents prouder than they already were. She was amazing. But when she was six, she was diagnosed with cancer. Terminal. It broke my dad. My mom, in a way, was saved by having Katie and I to take care of.

My dad went nuts. He would scream at my mom and I, and he wouldn't acknowledge Katie's existence. It went on for a few months before he snapped. He started hitting me. I didn't tell my mom though, because I knew that she had enough to deal with. But I'd turn a corner and there he'd be.

After a few months of this, he got worse. He, suddenly, charged at Katie's crib, accusing her of being an imposter, of trying to take Kristy's place."

Kendall paused for a few minutes, and then began to speak again.

"I jumped in front of her… my mom knocked him out, called 911. He was institutionalized. It took me three weeks to come out of the coma. I've only seen him once since – he was on his deathbed. He told me to be the man of the house. Said he was sorry. That was it."

Everyone in the room converged into a group hug.

They understood a lot now. But it didn't change anything. He would still always be Kendall. The reason why would never matter.

**Review, please?**


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